The Thinning 2016

The Thinning 2016

Director

Michael Gallagher

Writer

Michael Gallagher

Notable Actors

Peyton List

Stacy Dash

Logan Paul

Twas the night before the Thinning and all through all Texas, the kids were shitting a brick. The next day they would all, grades first through twelfth, be taking a 2 hour exam that would determine who would live and who would die. By killing the dumbest students the US is doing their part in code 245, aka The Thinning. The Thinning is an agreement in place by the United Nations for each Country to eliminate five percent of its population each year. Apparently the US thinks that poor test takers don't deserve to live. The young people the movie focuses on are exceptions to their classmates. I imagine their counterparts are worried as hell, studying and cramming like crazy the night before The Thinning. Lana Michaels ain't scared though. Lana is super smart and spending her last night before testing tutoring someone else. While tutoring she juggles caring for her younger siblings. Their mother is sick with a terminal illness. Lana is the quintessential girl to root for. Pretty, blond, smart, responsible. Lana is so likeable her teacher, Miss Birch, played by Stacy Dash (we'll get to this casting choice later) is also a huge fan of her. Birch brings over casseroles and offers to help with baby sitting. Upon going back to the school the evening before the Thinning, Miss Birch observes a female student in a car with a teacher, giving him teacher sexual favors. It's not shown of course, but implied that the student thinks this is the only way she will pass the test. Talk about using your brains. The other person unbothered by maybe being killed tomorrow is Blake. He's a blond, muscular, popular kid. His daddy is the Governor of Texas so maybe this advantage makes him not worry so much. Blake spends the night making out with his girlfriend Ellie. Ellie is visibly terrified about The Thinning tomorrow and Blake's privilege makes it hard for him to relate. They hold each other and talk until his dads security finds him and brings him back to the mansion. The Governor has a serious talk with his son.

"Do you want a pop tart?"

 He mentions that he finds Blake's girlfriend to be a distraction. Hmm I wonder if that's gonna have any effect on tomorrows test results. It does.

The day of the Thinning the atmosphere is rightfully somber and tense. Students look scared as hell. Parents kiss their kids goodbye, not knowing if they'll be coming home. This type of execution would surely bring down morale for the entire nation right? Killing children, really? And not in an action packed, white knuckled way like in Battle Royale or The Hunger Games, movies that actually have commentary about where we have come as a society.
The Thinning draws more questions than it cares to answer. For (1) the test is just 2 hours and it's math only, why? (2) a video explains that other nations do different things to reach their five percent quota, China is explained to have parents only birth one child. Ya know, the same thing they do now. How does that cut their population by five percent annually? (3) um how are they killing the kids? I'm also curious to know the breakdown of  the number of students per school, grade and class that are selected to be executed. It would have been interesting to explore different schools maybe having better odds than others depending on location and demographic. Unfortunately we just have to assume how things work. This movie offers up no criticism of it's post apocalyptic society. It only wants to talk about this one girl who doesn't deserve to die. No one cares about the other children. They're stupid,  and they don't have sick parents. The school even has the surviving children go to the gym and party while the dummies that didn't pass die somewhere else in the building. Why not immediately send the other children home? I'm sure their parents are worried sick. 
Ellie is selected for The Thinning. Blake tries to save her to no avail. He fights with the security guards that have on riot gear and for some reason have masks that give them robotic voices. Blake hops on the phone and pleads for his dads help. His father tells Blake he can't do anything, no one is above The Thinning. Let it be noted that for some reason the Governor is the person that has to give the "OK" each year before the kids can be killed. Not a superintendent or another school official. A government official, at his own sons school. Sounds like a conflict of interest. The girl that was giving her teacher a blow job also was selected for the thinning. See what happens when you don't take your work seriously?

My biggest problem is I have a hard time taking this world seriously. Every year students DIE. Teachers and their friends just have to say goodbye to people they loved, had sleepovers with, played with. Teachers cry in the real world on the last day of school because they are gonna miss having these kids over the summer. Who would sign on to teach a class all year when you know some of these kids are going to die? How do they not feel guilt? These surviving children, teachers and parents should have depression and mental heath problems. Not in this universe. 

The next year Blake is still reeling from his girlfriends death. He seems to be the only student that cares about the people that didn't survive last year. Blake has a plan to get back at his father. He is going to purposely fail the test and teach his father a real lesson by basically committing suicide via the thinning. The morning of his last test (he's a senior now) he records a message meant for the Governor to see after he is already killed. He figures if he bombs, his dad won't be able to do anything, after all he had no choice but to let Ellie die right? This kid is an idiot. His video message is intercepted and the Governor must take matters into his own hands.
It's Lana's last year of the test as well. Miss Birch looks approvingly as Lana finishes her test before the worthless idiots in her class. Speaking of Miss Birch the creators of this film must really be in a time warp. The fact that Stacey Dash was given a lead role speaks volumes. This movie should have been made five years ago when this type of end of the world drama according to teens was still fresh and new and Miss Dash was still relevant. 
So the failing students are announced. Although Blake purposely failed he isn't whisked away in front of his classmates. He passed somehow. The world stops when Lana Michaels is selected for the Thinning. Her entire class gasps. Not the smart girl, it cant be! No not the perfect girl! Miss Birch even tries to intervene by stopping a security guard and begging him to recheck the results. It's nice that a teacher is advocating for a student but it's sad that only Lana gets someone to fight for her because she's smart. All the other students in that line? She couldn't care less about them. BYE. Birch even risks her own livelihood to secretly give Lana her electronic key.
The key comes in handy when the power suddenly cuts off and the electrical restraints the kids are held in stop working. Lana can thank Blake for that. He's mad he isn't being killed and he starts picking off the worst security guards in the world. In the power outage confusion Lana escapes the holding room somehow undetected. The Thinning is temporarily postponed and the school is put on lock down when they figure out Lana escaped. She may have escaped without a hitch if it weren't for the head security guard, King.  He's the only guy who doesn't wear a mask so we can see his scary scars.

As they realize someone is missing, Lana is caught in the hall by another inept guard. She Claims she is a teacher named Miss Birch. Lana actually fools the guard and Blake shows up to help knock him out. The two team up. Blake doesn't know Lana's name although they've been going to the same school since kindergarten and every year there are less students. Lana obviously has a crush on Blake because he's hot. Blake is the scorned privileged kid and Lana is a Mary Sue that's been framed. 

Together

The two of them

uncover the mystery

behind the conspiracy

that is

The Thinning

It's very poetic. As Blake and Lana search for the truth by crawling through the ceiling vents, the rest of the school is in chaos. The news gets wind of the fact that the children have not been released yet causing a scandal. This is not good for the Governor who has literally just announced his presidential bid. He calls King and demands they get back on track. The guards search for Lana. To add tension Blake suddenly falls through the ceiling into the pool knocking him unconscious for some reason. Lana dives in after him and gives him mouth to mouth. They get dressed and talk about personal stuff , becoming buddies. 

Meanwhile King is suspicious of one of the teachers maybe helping Lana escape. The guard that got his ass handed to him says Lana had been pretending to be Ms. Birch. Good job putting your champion in danger Lana. Birch saves her own skin and punishes the male teacher who was receiving sexual favors from students. She touches him and he gets so aroused (remember, bitch or not, this is Stacy Dash) he doesn't feel her grabbing his electronic key. When King checks the teachers, the perv guy without his key is suspected as a traitor and taken away. Is he killed?

Lana eventually gets into the control room and hacks into the system. She finds her grades and sees something is terribly wrong. Her scores reads Lana Michaels 98%- fail. She looks at other grades that also don't make sense. At this time the power goes back on and the security guards find her in the control room. Luckily for Lana she sends out the grades to a friend and he leaks it to the media. You would think that grades would be changed in the computer to prevent a scandal like this. The media talks about Lana Michaels being taken to The Thinning although she has the highest score in the school but Blake, the Governors son isn't being killed but he's gotten the lowest score. 

Lana is being dragged to the execution room and strapped in to her chair again. Blake lays on the floor, he was beaten and captured by the guards. 

 King calls the Governor to OK the Thinning. The Governor sighs and says they must revise the list. He has to do whats right...for his bid as president. A few kids are let go including Lana. Blake and a few others are then brought into the room and strapped in. 

As this is happening the Governor announces to the press that he had no clue what was happening and rolls over on Kings. The Presidential hopeful doesn't seem to sore about losing his son, so long as it helps him win the upcoming election. 

Finally we get to see HOW they are killing the kids.They inject the crying kids in the neck with some weird pointy gun. The kids fall asleep.

They wake up hours later in a truck! Groggy and confused Blake looks around as the back of the truck opens. They are in a warehouse. There are factory workers, they appear to be manufacturing the same tablets the kids use to take their test on. Blake immediately sees Ellie. The end.

 What. The. Hell. Again The Thinning causes more questions.

Who else is aware that the children aren't actually being killed? Why are they not being killed? How are they hiding this many people? Why are they manufacturing tablets? Will they be kept in hiding the rest of their lives? Will there be a sequel? It's just so dumb. The Thinning pales in comparison to be like the other young adults films that "inspire" it.  The most disturbing aspect of The Thinning is that we're supposed to care about Lana being "killed" but not any of the other children that don't have her IQ. It's not like she stopped The Thinning completely, she was just able to avoid it for herself. In The Thinning Lana Michaels is worshiped. Why should I look up to her when there are plenty of real bad ass heroines in the genre?